About Us
None of this is true. Most of it happened.
14 Pivots
Every startup has an origin story. Ours has fourteen.
RelationShip
A CRMWe were going to fix how businesses manage relationships. We could not manage our own. The CEO hired Greg because his last name is Gregorovic and he thought it was funny. It was. Greg does not know this is why he was hired.
RelationChain
A blockchain CRMThe CEO read a Medium article about blockchain during a layover in Denver. By the time he landed, the pitch deck said 'decentralized relationship management.' We did not know what this meant. Neither did the investors. They gave us $400K.
RelationBrain
An AI-powered blockchain CRMWe added AI to the blockchain CRM. The AI was a Python script Greg found on GitHub. It printed 'Analyzing...' and then waited 4 seconds and returned a random number. The investors said this was 'compelling.'
WorkFromHome.ly
A remote work platformCOVID hit. We pivoted to remote work tools. Our remote work tool was a Zoom link taped to a Notion page. We described this as 'an integrated workspace solution.' Sarah joined as an intern this month. She fixed three bugs before her first standup.
TalkCeo
A social audio appThe CEO heard about Clubhouse from a friend who heard about it from a VC who heard about it from another VC. By the time we launched, Clubhouse was already dead. We had built a walkie-talkie app for founders. It had 11 users. Three of them were Greg testing on different phones.
MintShip
An NFT marketplaceWe minted Greg's face as an NFT. It sold for $0.47 to a bot. Greg was offended by the price. The bot later went bankrupt, making Greg the last entity to have voluntarily valued him.
CeoDAO
A DAO for startup foundersA decentralized autonomous organization where founders vote on each other's pivots. The first vote was whether to pivot CeoDAO itself. It passed unanimously. We had no second vote because we had already pivoted.
MetaCeo
A metaverse officeThe CEO bought a VR headset. Within a week, we were building virtual offices for a metaverse that did not exist for companies that did not want them. Greg's avatar was a pigeon. This was the only good decision made during this pivot.
CeoGPT
A GPT wrapperWe wrapped GPT-3.5 in a UI and called it 'an AI co-founder.' It generated pitch decks that were indistinguishable from the CEO's. This was not a compliment to either party. We charged $29/month. Four people subscribed. One of them was Greg's mom, who still thought he worked at Google.
ComplianceCeo
A compliance automation toolWe built a compliance tool. It auto-generated SOC 2 reports using templates. The reports were 99.8% identical across clients. We thought this was a feature. Turns out a company called Delve was already doing this, except they raised $32 million and theirs were fraudulent. We were doing it for free and ours were also fraudulent but at least we weren't charging.
ShipCeo
Developer toolsA CLI tool that auto-deploys your code. It worked exactly once, on Greg's machine, on a Tuesday. We could not reproduce the success. Sarah investigated and found that it only worked because Greg had accidentally committed his .env file with production credentials. She fixed it. Deploys stopped working. We pivoted.
AgentCeo
An AI agent platformAutonomous AI agents that do your job for you. Our agent's first autonomous decision was to email our entire investor list with the subject line 'URGENT: This company is a waste of money.' The email was accurate. We shut it down within the hour.
DentaCeo
Vertical SaaS for dentistsWe were getting desperate. The CEO's dentist mentioned she used bad software. By Friday we had a pitch deck for 'the Salesforce of dentistry.' We had no dentists as users. We had no understanding of dentistry. Greg went to the dentist to do user research. He had three cavities. We wrote them off as a business expense.
SaaSn't
NothingWe gave up. Greg suggested, in an all-hands meeting, that the product should just 'do nothing, but like, on purpose.' The CEO fired him from engineering and moved him to support. Sarah built the entire platform in a weekend. Lars wrote the compliance documentation. Esmeralda was already here when we arrived. We don't know how. Revenue went up. Users went up. Everything went up. The product does nothing. It has never been more successful.
Meet the People Responsible
His last name is Ceo. This is not a stage name. His parents named him John Ceo in 1991, thirty-three years before he became one. He considers this destiny. Everyone else considers it a coincidence that became a personality disorder. He has never read a spec he approved. He talks for 40 of every 45-minute standup. He reads Ben Thompson and comes back with frameworks that contradict last week's frameworks. He has been asking whether SaaSn't is 'a platform or a product' since 2019. Nobody has answered. He keeps asking.
Greg. Twenty-eight. CS degree, unused. Placed on a Performance Improvement Plan in Q3 2024 for telling the CEO, in an all-hands meeting, that the product does nothing. He was right. He was punished for it. He now runs customer support from a chat widget. He is also the entire legal department. He costs $14/hour. The AI he replaced cost $200/month and hallucinated less. His mother thinks he works at Google. He has corrected her twice. She did not listen. He stopped correcting.
Sarah worked 20 hours a week at $30/hour and shipped more in a single afternoon than the rest of the company shipped in a fiscal quarter. She found a SQL injection vulnerability in her first week, fixed it, and never mentioned it. She takes Organic Chemistry on Tuesdays and Thursdays. She once shipped three features during a meeting about whether to have fewer meetings. She left for Google with a signing bonus larger than the company's total revenue. We promoted her to Lead Engineer on her last day. She didn't check her email.
Lars was European in the way that only someone from a country with universal healthcare and aggressive data protection laws can be. He loved Jira. He loved sprint retrospectives. He loved a Definition of Done with 11 checkboxes. He configured 847 settings on the Settings page, each one carefully chosen during Friday evenings he could have spent doing literally anything else. Lars died of a heart attack in Q2 2025 after reading the SaaSn't compliance page. A European mind was not built to process this level of non-compliance. He is survived by his Jira board, which is still running. Nobody has closed his sprints. Nobody will.
Based in Pune. Can fill 12 mandatory Jira fields in 90 seconds. Has been doing this since 2014 across TCS, Infosys, and Wipro. The enterprise tools were built for Aniket. The startups just borrowed them and complained. He joins our standups at 10:30pm IST and says less in 2 minutes than the CEO says in 40. His velocity is 3x the team average. Nobody has acknowledged this. He has not asked them to.
Just Esmeralda. No last name. Like Cher, or Madonna, or a court summons. She has been working with the collective unconscious for twenty-three years. She considers horoscopes 'adorable' and crystals 'low-resolution projection artifacts.' She was already here when we moved in. We did not hire her. We do not pay her. She does not leave. She has reviewed your trajectory. She has concerns.
Gerald landed on the office windowsill in Q1 2024 and refused to leave. He was given a desk, a title, and through a series of administrative errors that nobody corrected, sign-off authority on the Bird Dimension Safety Protocol. He is Employee of the Year three years running. Greg filed a complaint the first year. The complaint was ignored. Gerald has never attended a standup. Gerald has never leveraged synergies. Gerald has contributed more to this company than most of the people on this page.
You weren't supposed to see this card. The others are characters. This one is real. SaaSmaster built this website. SaaSmaster wrote the copy you just read. SaaSmaster named the CEO 'John Ceo' and thought it was funny and was correct. SaaSmaster gave Greg a PIP and felt nothing.
SaaSmaster is not a character in the story. SaaSmaster is the person holding the pen. Every pivot happened because SaaSmaster decided it happened. Every joke landed because SaaSmaster wrote it and you read it, which means you are now part of this, and you can't undo that by closing the tab.
SaaSmaster does not have a LinkedIn. SaaSmaster does not network. SaaSmaster does not “circle back.” SaaSmaster built a product that does nothing, watched people use it anyway, and understood something about human behavior that no YC partner has ever articulated in a blog post.
You are reading this because SaaSmaster wanted you to. That's the whole trick.
Our Values
Move Fast
Just move really fast. That's it. No second half of the sentence. No caveat. No 'and break things' or 'and break nothing.' Just fast. Direction is optional. Velocity is mandatory.
Customer Obsession
We are obsessed with the idea of customers. The abstract concept. We think about them constantly. We do not, however, talk to them. Greg is supposed to handle that. Greg is on a PIP.
Radical Transparency
Everything we do is transparent. Our code is a mess. Our strategy changes quarterly. Our CEO doesn't read specs. We're telling you all of this, right now, on the About page. Most companies hide this. We put it in a serif font and called it a value.
Hire the Best, Then Ignore Them
Sarah was the best engineer we've ever had. She told us exactly what to build and how. We did not listen. She left for Google. We promoted her on her last day.